The Washington Outsider


Defense Against the Dark Arts of Manipulators

Being manipulated, especially for those who have been seriously harmed by manipulators, i.e. abused, can be extremely frustrating, damaging, and enraging.  Clearly, the intellectual architecture presented here does not provide specific answers for every conceivable situation, but it does offer some of the key tools needed to learn how to deal with dishonest, self-serving manipulators.  As someone with a father and extended family with massive control issues, a tendency to be dishonest, and a dysfunctional nature, this writer has been trying to develop and explain defense tactics to victims of manipulators for years.


At the age of ten, this writer consciously started developing his own defense tactics in order to strengthen his natural defense mechanisms before  he could understand the intellectual architecture behind his own behavior.  Where he had to reverse engineer this intellectual architecture based on his own experiences, readers have the advantage of using this modeling to develop defense tactics tailored to their own unique circumstances.  Understanding the modes of manipulation and modes of motivation affords individuals of all educational levels a platform for building defense tactics against manipulators.    

Although there are legitimate reasons to shape and frame facts in order to develop ideas and better communicate thoughts, the same techniques used are more often abused to manipulate others for deceitful, self-serving reasons.  Those pushing political agendas, selling snake oil, and trolling for booty use a person’s own psychological failings to accomplish their goals.  While someone with an advanced understanding of the psychology involved in decision-making can become a master manipulator, a basic grasp of such concepts offers potential victims a powerful defense.

All people act on their emotional, intuitive, and intellectual instincts when interacting with others.  Manipulators interacting on an emotional level will tend to pray on someone’s emotional deficits.  Emotional manipulators frame and shape their interactions with others in order to exploit this most fundamental element of personhood.  With exception to sociopaths, all people, including trained professionals, are vulnerable to this mode of manipulation thanks to their humanity.  Where individuals are emotionally disconnected from a given situation, they are protected from the emotional manipulator.  Where individuals cannot emotionally disconnect, they are vulnerable to this most basic mode of manipulation.

Meanwhile, manipulators, who function on an intuitive level, will more heavily rely on the action-reaction dynamics of personal and social interactions.  Because intuition is an instinct of automatic mechanisms, which allow people to rapidly respond to highly dynamic and/or novel situations, manipulators are able to use their actions to guide their victims reactions. Those using intuitive modes of manipulation will shape and frame the responses of their pray, so the manipulators' interests will be served.  From an outsider's perspective, the structure of such an interaction would appear to be a broken argument of conflicting rationales lacking in logical flow that ends in an outcome desirable to the manipulator.

Finally, manipulators interacting on intellectual instincts plan and develop situations where potential victims are forced to "choose" to fulfill the interests of the manipulator, often at the expense of their own interests.  More dangerous than emotional or intuitive manipulators, these highly skilled individuals will make use of forgotten facts, a lack of technical understanding, and the tendency of society to determine truth based on public opinion.  This mode of manipulation works through long-term interactions and the pursuit of grand schemes that may convincingly appear to fulfill the interests of the victims.  Asking proper questions, especially on what assumptions are being made, can help reveal whose interests are truly being served by the shaping and framing of facts in this manner.

Furthermore, a person's decisions are motivated by economical, i.e. the pursuit of self-interests including financial interests, social, and emotional incentives.  Before an individual acts, he, or she, will evaluate a situation in terms of one or more of these three modes of motivation.  A healthy individual will ideally be able to use all three modes to process information and make decisions to pursue the most advantageous outcome.  Unfortunately, flawed humans often distort information.  For example, decisions regarding relationships should be made to fulfill emotional needs and sustainable wants; however, society has a long history of encouraging marriage as a means of solidifying social standing while modern thinking has too often turned marriage into an economic arrangement where the contract is dissolved when economic factors no longer serve one or both individuals.

What manipulative people do is use the human tendency to improperly, or over, process information in a specific motivational mode, i.e. a person’s thinking becomes locked into an inappropriate mode(s). One major reason why this happens stems from the natural tendency to lie, i.e. avoid unpleasant truths.  Not only does society encourage dishonesty by more often offering punishment for those who recognize their failings, humans are also physiologically programmed from conception to appease others for their own gain and to avoid recognizing one’s own faults.  As such, people tend to avoid uncomfortable interpretations of information to their own detriment.  It is often necessary to remain externally silent to protect individual’s own interests; however, internal dishonesty opens people up to negative influences, because they choose to avoid the discomfort of unwanted truths.

Clearly, manipulators will strive to use all three modes of manipulations in order to achieve their goals.  Manipulators will also manipulate how others process information to force them to use their own preferred modes of motivation to further the manipulator’s goals.  As such, there are a few basic steps that people need to integrate into their thinking in order to avoid being manipulated:

1. Recognition

Recognizing someone is trying to manipulate someone by processing information in all three modes of motivation helps minimize personal bias toward more favorable interpretations of given situations and facts. By understanding the consequences of a decision in emotional, social, and economical terms, it is easier to comprehend the consequences of a potentially damaging decision.  Every person an individual encounters helps influence what they do and who they are; however, it is the decisions, which harm individuals,  that need to be avoided by minimizing the negative influences of others.

2. How


Even if the intentions of manipulators are benign and/or favorable to a victim, which manipulators do often offer some apparent benefit, it is important to empower victims through the ability to know when they are being manipulated and know how they are being manipulated. Knowing is the only way of ensuring a targeted individual’s needs and wants will be pursued when the interests of manipulators are no longer aligned with their own.  While it is essential to recognize how people are being manipulated, it is not necessarily important to know the purpose behind a manipulation, thus victims need to concentrate on understanding the methods of manipulation.

The modes of thoughts individuals, and those influencing them, use greatly impact their choices.  By better understanding how and why decisions are made, people can better defend themselves against the harmful influences of others.  Consequently, people must recognize what modes of manipulation and motivation are being used to influence our decisions.

3. Avoidance


For those under the influence of an extremely manipulative person(s), especially victims of abuse, avoidance is the most fundamental defense.  In other words, victims need to avoid engaging manipulative individuals.  Intellectually, this means disengaging from the thinking of manipulators when a potential conclusion goes against a victims broad interests, i.e. ignore and refuse to recognize the validity of the contorted rationales used by manipulators.  

Socially, it is necessary to disengage from manipulative people and others who knowingly, or unknowingly, support manipulative behavior.  In other words, stay as far away from such people as possible and interact with those who are willing to recognize and confront manipulative behavior.  Perhaps more importantly, it is essential to avoid the tendency of victims to focus on the negative social consequences of acting against manipulators.

Emotionally, victims need to avoid considering the emotional impact of their defense tactics on their manipulators.  This can be difficult as most people have trouble learning how to disconnect from their emotional instincts, but it can be done by more often utilizing other instincts when interacting with manipulators.


4. Interact Wisely

It might be possible to reshape a manipulator's goals in order to either avoid situations that spark manipulative behavior or force these individuals to consider the interests of others in addition to their own.  For example, conversations should be avoided where manipulators can use a victim’s views and opinions to reshape their thinking so they act against what they need and want, i.e. their interests.  

Alternatively, someone might offer a strong enough argument that forces manipulators to recognize they have broader interests that are served by calculating and addressing the interests of others.  In both cases, the ill-effects of manipulators will be neutralized.  Clearly, this should only be tried if a situation is stable, the tactics of the manipulator are fully understood, and one is unable to avoid the influence of manipulative individuals.

5. Seek Help


In situations where a manipulator has full control over a person, it is important to seek outside help.  Professionals, such as lawyers, accountants, and political scientists, should be consulted when dealing with legal, financial, political, or other civil affairs.  For personal relationships and issues, the field of psychology has allowed for the training of a wide range of professionals capable of mediating conflicts and offering escape options.




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      • Why the World Needs to Reinvest in America
      • Why Are We Against Terrorism?
      • Why Does Terrorism Exist?
      • US Influence: The Value of American Citizenship Around the World
      • Responding to "the Soldier as Sacrficial Victim"
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      • How comfort defines us as people >
        • Is Suicide a Cowardly Way Out?
      • Defense Against the Dark Arts of Manipulators
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        • On the Willing Victim of Abuse
        • How to Understand Abuse Victims
        • Recognizing Abuse
      • The Role of Substitution in Decision Making
      • Trying to Understand PTSD and Other Trauma-induced Mental Health Issues
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        • Mental Illness is Not the Cause of Anger and Violence >
          • Trying to Understand the Boston Marathon Bombing and Other Violent Crimes
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      • Describing the Mind as Modes of Thought >
        • It’s Just Sex?
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      • Relating Circular, Inductive, and Deductive Reasoning to the Scientific Method and Religion
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      • The Need for Greater Economic Leverage >
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        • Haitians Sue the UN for Failure to Help With Cholera
        • Looking at How Corn-based Ethanol and Other Alternative Energy Subsidies Stack Up
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        • Irish Sovereignty Lost Before Bailout
        • Why Sudan's Greatest Long-Term Hurdle is Our Lowest-bidder Economy
        • Reduce US Imports by Buying American Made Products
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        • On Questioning the Need to Address Economic Disparity
        • Minimum Wage is Not the Problem
        • Responding to the "Blip"
        • Why Education Is Not The Civil Rights Issue Of The Twenty-First Century
      • Considering the Impact of the Capital Gains Tax Deduction
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        • Capitalism Versus Socialism
        • The Negatives of Socialism
      • Stealing Intellectual Property
      • Changing Business Models: From Enduring Entities to Cash Cows
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      • Dealing with the Issues Surrounding the Patenting of Self-replicating Technologies
      • Is Technology Threatening Jobs?
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      • Primary Education in America and the Changing Needs of Society
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      • Is Engaging Parents in Their Children's Education a Major Factor in Turning Around Low-performing Schools?
      • Should Grants Be Awarded to School Districts that Try Innovative Methods to Improve Student Achievement?
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        • Are We Losing Our Second Amendment Rights
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      • Should a Woman Have the Right to Choose Abortion? >
        • Should Fathers Be Able to Opt Out of Parenthood?
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      • Is Teen Driving a Right or a Privilege?
      • Should US Companies Be Required to Provide Equal Pay to Women and Men?
      • Is eighteen too young to vote?
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      • Do Mandatory Seat Belt Laws Violate Individual Rights?
      • Should cell phone use be banned while driving?
      • Dealing with the link between video game violence and children's behavior
      • Should police have to submit to routine drug and alcohol testing?
      • Public schools should not impose mandatory drug testing on students
      • Are High Taxes on Cigarettes Proper?
      • Should pharmacists be required to violate their religious beliefs and dispense the "Morning After Pill?"
      • Should school counselors uphold patient privacy or report students who become unstable?
  • For the record
    • Ongoing Issues >
      • Red Dawn in Ukraine: Understanding the Actions of Russia >
        • On Russia’s Coercion of Ukraine
        • The Russian Annexation of Crimea in the Eyes of the World
        • Putin Has Overplayed His Hand With Crimea
        • Ukraine in Terms of Resovereignization
        • Avoiding a Conflict Between America and Russia Over Ukraine
        • What Drives the World’s Interest in Russia’s Actions in Ukraine
      • China’s Aggressive Pursuit of Interests Demands a Global Response
      • Iran Makes a Deal: A Start to a Long-term Diplomatic Effort to Denuclearize Iran >
        • On the Future of a Nuclear Negotiations with Iran
      • America's Sphere of Influence: Retaking South-East Asia >
        • Power in Asia: Looking at the Power Shift in Japan
        • The China Paradox: Why America is Worried About China
      • Assessing US Support of Israel >
        • Tread Softly Israel for a Heavy Step May Be Your Undoing
      • Understanding the Dysfunctional Nature of the US-Pakistani Relationship
      • Recognizing the True Threat Behind the Current Unrest in the Middle East >
        • Reacting to the Escalating Crackdown in Syria
      • Assessing the Threat of North Korea >
        • Answering North Korea's Call for Food Aid: Breaking the Vicious Cycle Forced Upon Us by a Warring Nation
        • Dealing with the Restarting of the Korean War
        • North Korea Attacks South Korea
      • Dealing with the Ill-effects of Climate Change
      • Racial Inequality and Oppression Do Truly Exist in Today's Society
      • Should energy independence be a high priority in the US?
      • An overview of world wide Human Rights violations
      • Nuclear Threat from Pakistan
      • Return of The Cold War?
    • World >
      • Coverage of FIFA World Cup is a Chance to Focus on Poverty >
        • The FIFA World Cup Offers Benefits for More Than Brazilian Soccer Fans
        • FIFA Can Bring Brazilians Together as a Nation
      • Being Prepared for Any Potential Dangers at the FIFA World Cup Games
      • Treading Softly on the Politicizing of the 2014 Sochi Olympics Over Gay Rights
      • Why NATO Operations in Libya Lack a Well-defined Mission
      • China Hijacks the Web
      • Lessons from the Great Japanese Earthquake of 2011
      • A Modernizing Cuba Offers an Opportunity for Capitalists
      • The Seeds of Democracy Take Root in the Middle East
      • The Rebirth of Democracy in Tunisia
      • What May Come from the Hurt Revolution in Libya
      • Responding to the Violence of Qaddafi and Other Besieged Leaders
      • Embracing the Rise of a Democratic Egypt
      • Protests in Afghanistan Turn Deadly for Coalition Forces and UN Personnel
      • Haiti: Another Failing Humanitarian Investment
      • What Karzai Can Learn from Calderon
      • START II: A Necessary, Easy Success that Nearly Failed
      • Why Does the U.S. Government Support Independence for the Breakaway Serb Territory of Kosovo but Oppose Independence for the Breakaway Georgian Territories of Abkhazia and South Ossetia?
      • Iraq's Electric Issues: When Human Wants Trump Economic Sense
      • The International Community Reacts to Wikileaks: We May Be Moving Toward a Third World War in Cyberspace
      • On Climate Gate
      • Assessing Obama's Afghanistan War strategy
      • 2009 Iranian Presidential Election: The Fallout
      • Resolving Sri Lankan Conflict through Free Media
      • What are the Global Consequences of Russia's Invasion of Georgia
      • The War in Iraq: an assessment of President Bush's surge strategy
      • Drug War: Actions of Venezuela, Columbia, Ecuador in terms of Resovereignization
      • Is the Iraq Refugee Crisis America's Responsibility?
      • US support for a united Kosovo, Abkhazia, and South Ossetia: why?
      • Should the US withdraw from Iraq?
      • Setting a Timetable for Troop Withdrawal from Iraq is a Terrible Mistake
      • War on Terrorism is needed
    • Law and Order >
      • Rape in the US Military
      • Ethics of Force-feeding Guantanamo Bay Detainees
      • Reacting to the Aftermath of the Tucson Massacre
    • Economy >
      • Affordability Drives Fear of Obamacare and the Individual Mandate
      • Is the Economy Built for a Job's Recovery?
      • Gutting Healthcare Reform of the Individual Mandate
      • Arizona Budget Cuts Lead to Lethal Healthcare Rationing:
      • Shameful Collection Practices of American Banks
      • The Fed Reveals it Actually Undertook an International Bailout
      • Thoughts on French Budgetary Reforms
      • Seniors Start Businesses
      • The Case for Slimming Down the US Military to Make it Better
      • Looking at the Obama Administration's New Approach to Economic Policy
      • Should the Government Regulate the Credit Card Industry?
      • The Big Three's Big Chance
      • The Unhealthy Tone of the Healthcare Reform Debate
      • Should the federal government offer a bailout for home owners?
      • Environmentalists: Do They Do More Good Than More Harm?
      • Responding to Scott Walker's Contribution to the War on Unions
    • US Government >
      • America Needs to Focus on the Impending Fiscal Crisis
      • Reacting to the Bush Era-tax Cut Extension Deal
      • Quitting the Obama Revolution: The Fickle Nature of American Politics
      • John Boehner's Circus
      • Is the Fed Putting Itself in Jeopardy?
      • Wikileaks Goes After the US State Department
      • Discussing the Political Environment Surrounding the 2011 Budget Debate
      • What the Democrats Can Do to Ensure a GOP Year in 2012
      • What the 2010 Midterm Actually Said
      • Congresswoman Kathy Dahlkemper
      • Democrats Minus Nancy Pelosi Equals Opportunity
      • Terrorists Go Postal: The Terrorism Threat Reexamined
      • Victory in the 2008 Election: Reaction to Barack Obama'a Win >
        • Expectations for Barack Obama
      • President Obama's first one hundred days
      • John McCain's Negative Campaign
      • Reasons People did not Elect John Mccain
      • History judges the George W. Bush Administration
      • Should the next US President focus on domestic issues?
      • President Bush, should he resign or be impeached
      • Should the Ban on Government Sponsored Assassinations be Repealed
    • Off Topic >
      • A Face of America’s Greatest Generation
      • A Story About a Man Who Made the World a Better Place
      • Making the World a Better Place
      • The Bipolar Ethical Nature of Google
      • Learning Computer Plays Jeopardy
      • Verifying Medicine is the Real Thing
      • Taking a Practical Step Forward in Optical Computing Using Slow Light
      • Scientists Take a Closer Look at How Lithium Batteries Work
      • Remarking on the First Blizzard of the 2010-2011 Winter Season
      • Driving in the Snow: Acceleration is the Key
      • How People in Northwest PA Are Coping with the Increasing Cost of Oil
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