How to Understand Abuse Victims
Whether talking about victims of sexual, physical, emotional, or psychological abuse, it can be difficult, if not impossible, to understand people who have been treated so poorly, often by those closest to them. Because abuse takes on so many forms and people are very different, responses to abuse fall within a broad spectrum of behaviors. On the other hand, one common element abuse victims appear to share is their ability to develop some sort of coping mechanism. Unfortunately, these coping mechanisms can make it very difficult to see the effects of abuse and impair these individual's ability to have normal, health relationships.
The greatest tragedy of abuse is that the effects of mistreating a person can last a lifetime or manifest themselves later in life as well as in certain circumstances. This means abuse can be extremely difficult to detect and harm individuals long after the abuse has stopped. Furthermore, abused individuals often become abusive, because they have learned people respond strongly to abusive behavior, and therefore, they can either use abuse to control a situation, punish others, or comfort themselves. Meanwhile, more passive abuse victims are often more likely to end up in future abusive relationships since they have grown accustomed to abuse while their coping mechanisms may frustrate others to the point abuse occurs.
When dealing with adults, who are or have been abused, it can be extremely frustrating. These adults often develop very strange quirks, which can make them anti-social, or they can be overly aggressive. Therefore, patience and understanding are essential attributes for anyone dealing with victims of abuse; however, it is also important to be strong enough to openly confront the effects of abuse without appeasing an abused individual's tendency to be abusive or withdraw. Most importantly, abuse can affect a person very profoundly in a short period of time for a very long time, but reversing the damage can take far longer and an exponential amount of effort.
Whether dealing with children who act out or withdraw due to abuse, it can be very challenging to understand them. Abused children have no reason to respect authority or trust others and, since misbehavior is clearly unacceptable as it hurts their ability to form healthy relationships as well as to recover while withdrawing from others is also certainly unhealthy, working with abused children can be extremely difficult. Furthermore, abused children may only be capable of initially responding to abusive behavior. Like dealing with most children, it is best to respond positively to good behavior and negatively to poor behavior. On the other hand, it is important to realize abused children may view any negative responses as a precursor to abusive behavior; therefore, a proper response is necessary to help these children feel they are safe and a need for punishment does not mean they are going to be mistreated.
Moreover, the effects of abuse are complicated, so understanding those effects might not be possible. Fortunately, it is more important to treat abuse victims in a fair, consistent manner as they learn others can be trusted and they can be protected from mistreatment. Society has failed these people; therefore, it is necessary for individuals and communities to support abuse victims in order to heal them. More often than not, people fail to consider how their behavior affects others and why other people respond to their behavior in a certain manner. Understanding abuse victims starts with the ability to learn how people respond to each other; however, a little self-reflection when dealing with others on the behalf of everyone would help create a healthier society and healthier relationships. Those who have been mistreated can only be healed when they are treated fairly and properly.
The greatest tragedy of abuse is that the effects of mistreating a person can last a lifetime or manifest themselves later in life as well as in certain circumstances. This means abuse can be extremely difficult to detect and harm individuals long after the abuse has stopped. Furthermore, abused individuals often become abusive, because they have learned people respond strongly to abusive behavior, and therefore, they can either use abuse to control a situation, punish others, or comfort themselves. Meanwhile, more passive abuse victims are often more likely to end up in future abusive relationships since they have grown accustomed to abuse while their coping mechanisms may frustrate others to the point abuse occurs.
When dealing with adults, who are or have been abused, it can be extremely frustrating. These adults often develop very strange quirks, which can make them anti-social, or they can be overly aggressive. Therefore, patience and understanding are essential attributes for anyone dealing with victims of abuse; however, it is also important to be strong enough to openly confront the effects of abuse without appeasing an abused individual's tendency to be abusive or withdraw. Most importantly, abuse can affect a person very profoundly in a short period of time for a very long time, but reversing the damage can take far longer and an exponential amount of effort.
Whether dealing with children who act out or withdraw due to abuse, it can be very challenging to understand them. Abused children have no reason to respect authority or trust others and, since misbehavior is clearly unacceptable as it hurts their ability to form healthy relationships as well as to recover while withdrawing from others is also certainly unhealthy, working with abused children can be extremely difficult. Furthermore, abused children may only be capable of initially responding to abusive behavior. Like dealing with most children, it is best to respond positively to good behavior and negatively to poor behavior. On the other hand, it is important to realize abused children may view any negative responses as a precursor to abusive behavior; therefore, a proper response is necessary to help these children feel they are safe and a need for punishment does not mean they are going to be mistreated.
Moreover, the effects of abuse are complicated, so understanding those effects might not be possible. Fortunately, it is more important to treat abuse victims in a fair, consistent manner as they learn others can be trusted and they can be protected from mistreatment. Society has failed these people; therefore, it is necessary for individuals and communities to support abuse victims in order to heal them. More often than not, people fail to consider how their behavior affects others and why other people respond to their behavior in a certain manner. Understanding abuse victims starts with the ability to learn how people respond to each other; however, a little self-reflection when dealing with others on the behalf of everyone would help create a healthier society and healthier relationships. Those who have been mistreated can only be healed when they are treated fairly and properly.
